Mug Shots

I attended the Found Magazine showcase at the Largo last night. It was very fun and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I was given a show to watch and a mug of Maker's Mark and Coke to drink, who can ask for anything mooooore, who can ask for anything more! (apologies for breaking into song)

We had to park in the $10 lot after circling the block 17 times, but then we parked at exactly the same time as Miranda July, the media mogul, and I proceeded to ignore her even though my friend was brave enough to introduce herself. (granted she had a good excuse) Once in the theatre, I went to the restroom, and then to my seat, where Miranda July was sitting right next to me. Did I say anything then, you ask. No, I continued to ignore her, even though I do own her movie on DVD and her book of short stories, both of which I've enjoyed. Why, you ask. Well, my mistake. I find those situations very awkward and I think too highly of myself to believe that telling an artist I like their work will bring me any kind of satisfaction.

I did however tell the sword swallower that I liked his work, probably because the man was going to poop out a balloon in two days just for the sake of entertaining me.

That store again

I went into the store by my job that sells gorgeous clothing and accessories totally out of my financial reach. My mistake, now I feel totally inadequate without $ 300 shoes.

I wrote the phrase "handwriting my own by hand" in a message to my friends

classic "Anne" move

So I'm walking back home from dinner with my friends and I spy one of my co-workers, on whom I have an ever-so slight crush, walking in the opposite direction. Without assessing the situation first, I blurt out (quite ungracefully) his name (due to the lack of privacy on the Internet, I am omitting his name). He looks up and says "Hi!" and the best reply I can come up with is "oh...hi...I'm just walking here...I, I live here (as I point up to my dorm room)" Oh god, now as I'm writing this I can see just how amazingly horrible this all was. Anyways, he leaves, I'm mortified, and to top things off, none of my friends sympathetically tell me that "you weren't that bad, Anne" or "don't worry about it, I'm sure he doesn't care" but rather tell me that yes, indeed, I was completely awkward. The worst one was "well, at least you were being honest."
Well done, Anne. My mistake.

muscle soup

I made my fiance take me to a 3 course dinner that sounded delicious to me, but included a 1st course of mussel soup, which sounded terrible to my fiance. I underestimated his disgust. When he pushed his bowl away and said he wanted to barf when it was placed in front of him (but after my lovely new friend, and wife of the cook, walked away) I panicked and felt a little nausea myself. Needless to say, I ate two bowls of soup to avoid the embarrassment of her seeing his bowl untouched. That's a lot of mussels, even if it was delicious. We proceeded to fight about his manners and I said something like, "if you cared about me you'd eat it!"

My mistake.

Last Thursday night, I brought a charming holiday-themed novelty straw with me to a dinner date. After irritating everybody at the dinner date table by whistling through the straw, I failed to actually drink anything with it. Although I neglected to take any photos of it, I have (thankfully!) found a reasonable facsimile of the novelty straw via google:















Also I have found a picture that I think pretty accurately recalls what I looked like while whistling through it:















Not much time passed before I began offering the novelty straw to the other guests at the dinner date. When they neglected to take it off of my hands, I resorted to playing with it in the parking lot of the restaurant. Flicking it around, a bit of liquid flew out of it and landed on the face of another one of the dinner guests.
















This was completely horrifying to the guest (pictured above: BONUS POINTS IF YOU CAN GUESS WHO SHE IS BECAUSE I JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WHICH!!!!!!!11), I am sure. I didn't actually drink anything with the straw and the liquid was surely my saliva.


WHOOPS MY MISTAKE

definitely not finished. definitely tired. definitely due tomorrow at 8 am.